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Monday, August 23, 2010

Falling

I am falling.
This is going to hurt.
Bad ending.. waiting for me.
I know.

But I can't seem to hang on to anything to stop my fall.
Damn it.

( I love how I can write silly things that are so random and only make sense to me )

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Why?

Why is it when I get drunk..
I have a wonderful time?
But when I am alone... it depresses me?
I want to leave right now. More than ever.
Why can't I?

~Repunzel

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Hate me Today.

I cant trust anyone. I feel sick. I hate my life.

Shakey

My hands are always shakey anymore.
Everyone thinks I am nervous.
I'm not.
I don't know whats wrong with me.

On the Run.

I'm going to pack my bags, leave everything here.
Run away, run away from here.
Never look back.
Why can't we all have a life like that?
Just sitting back, soaking up the sun.
Life on the run.

Seether - Rise Above This

Thursday, August 5, 2010

FML

I got a phone finally! But last night I drank a whole bottle of wine to myself. And lost my phone battery. Then to top that off Ein chewed the back of it. I can't find my battery anywhere. Work sucked today.

All I have had to eat is two sausage links and a piece of bread ... I am just to damn depressed to eat. Work was horrible today. I miss my family. I am so homesick it isn't funny. I don't know what I am doing with my life anymore. I am just really upset.

Last night I guess I stayed on the phone with Tyler until like 4am. Then Aaron flipped out because he thought I had taken pills or something and drank. So he told his mom... that didn't go over well. She JUST woke up, It was 4am. And I HAD to make it worse by saying.. "Yeah I drank the whole fucking bottle so what?"

Then I continued to blow off at the mouth by saying "Fuck.. fuckk.. fuckkk."
And "I WILL GO TO FUCKING BED!"

Really.. I don't even know why I drank so much. I didn't really think it was that big of a deal. I was having a good time. It made me happy. Even if I was drinking alone. I am hoping that Aarons old phone battery will work in my phone. I don't want to have to buy a whole new phone if the battery is more expensive than what I paid for the phone.. then I am going to have too...

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Fuck yo Couch

The couch is comfy.. but lonley.. -.-